17 years ago, we stood before God, Family and Community and took an oath to love one another. Both young, we could only imagine what the future would hold for ourselves as no longer individuals, but as a unit that would be forced to accomplish our dreams together. Though there were many questions, one thing was for sure; we knew that Marrying Each Other was the Right Choice!.
Though many would imagine 17 years as a struggle, challenge or an eternity, it has been tightly seemed woven cloth of moments of both joy and pain. Tightly, in that each moment has pulled at the seems, but the bond of friendship along with the covenant taken like a Chinese Finger a grip, has tightened and restricted each other from coming apart in tough moments.
As we sat listening to the accounts of a man headed towards marriage number 3, we were both caught up in the accounts not of the 2nd and then future 3rd, but if the first wife. He spoke of this great woman, awesome mother and great spouse she had been, and with his head low said, “I messed that one up!” (And took a swig of Corona), and hence the title of this blog! He made the right choice, but they are no longer together because he did not continue to make the right choices.
Staying together requires making the right choices!
There will come times in a marriage when love isn’t enough. Individuals must cease to exist and one must be the result through sacrifice and mutual submission. Though in Love, you can find yourself in a disagreement about the next step or move. Disagreement are tense moments that steal joy and overshadow the love that exist because logic and personal desires move to the forefront.
This past February, we were forced to make a choice. To date, our current choices, though tough, kept us together, but this choice was the biggest choice to date, with so much at stake. Both of us pulled from our love for one another, searching for ways to compromise and bend our own desires into something that would keep our home united. We sat in the driveway, pouring out our hearts to one another, our fears, our hopes, both agreeing to choose each other and to seek God for peace in whatever was decided.
It was the first time either of us had to envision life without the other, a vision that we both rejected. An image unimaginable! A distorted reality with an unhappy present and a tattered future. We both knew what was being asked, and though not in agreement, agreed to be agreeable and to find happiness though one would be unhappy. Though many spend time talking about submission, more often than not, the conversation is about sacrifice, of ones will for the other and towards the greater good.
As time goes bye, we forget what is the best thing. We get busy focusing on the outward and obtaining more and we forget the basics. At the core of happiness, the covenant through Christ is surrounded by our choice see each other through Him, and continue to make choices each day to choose each other.