One of the beauties of marriage and friendship is the maturing process. Over the years, we all can find humor and encouragement, measuring the progress and journey of our friends and spouses. The individual journey is impressive, but so to is the journey of the pair.
We draw lines in the sand as immature youth, learning and experiencing life day to day. When Johnny & Quinita first started talking in 1993, she advised him that she wouldn’t fight for him. She continued by telling him that He needed to handle the females around him; because that was his job. Johnny stated in 1993, that he would never stay in a marriage if his wife ever cheated on him. Though these both were wise statements in 1993 of a budding relationships, they would both be considered unwise if applied to a 20 year relationship with 16 years of marriage.
Oddly enough, there are many 20 years in, still holding to statements made in their youth, daring the other to knock the stick off their shoulder or to step across the line they have drawn in the sand. As couples increase in years, the must increase in maturity releasing themselves from the immature knee-jerk responses of the past, erasing the line in the sand, replacing it with a drafting table to draw up and sign treaties.
After 20 years in relationship, 16 years of marriage, and five girlies, she admits that she would fight for her husband and her family. The fight in her is relative to the investment & the return on investment. Quinita said, “because I know the love of the past and promise of the future” as to why her perspective has changed towards the relationship. Johnny says, “our marriage has been sealed not just by God, but by the commitment we have shown to the vows we took.” His perspective has change too because of the investment, the return on investments and in addition the commitment to the covenant both have lived out.
Knowing these things, we can compare a marriage to a wine. When looking into the process, one discovers the difference between wine and juice is fermentation process. When a relationship is new, it has not broken down, been exposed to the elements and lacks time. A new relationship is in its original stage; sweet. The joy of the beverage is found in the newness of the squeeze, how pure, and how close it is to the taste of its original source. It is served to all, because to consume it does not require maturity nor in-depth wisdom. It is merely child’s play. As a relationship grows, it is broken down from its original state, which can yield a sour and bitter taste, requiring things to be added to bring out the sweetness every situation.
We must continue to focus on our marriages and relationships, understanding that the process must be handled and supervised, following principles to inspire and encourage growth. Though there will be bitter and sweet, when properly monitored, the results will be a fine wine that is beautiful to behold, gentle to the nose, with the smooth to the tongue. Simply put, a great marriage is intoxicating.