I have come to realize in this life, growing is a constant. Though I could focus on exanding waist lines and the boundary of gray hairs emerging, there is a growth in mind to address in this post.
As I have spoken with both friends and family, two statements are common in relationships 1. We have grown together 2. We have grown apart.
When taking a closer look at those who have made the statement; “We have grown apart”, we find a truth of relationships; there is always movement. The word “growing” reveals an undetermined timeline. Because growing takes time, we are made aware that this process is not one that takes place over night. “Apart” shows us that a tear has occurred in a relationship that was once together; producing separation. Growing apart takes place when those in relationship remove focus from each other to self. Becoming me focused is the first sign of a relationship on a decline. On this journey, both the driver and the front seat passenger, must remain alert so destination and arriving safely happens.
Though “growing together” has many layers; the seasoning of both partners & the maturing of the relationship are the upper crusts. We have already How does one grow together, one might ask?
Most of us find ourselves holding on to the memories. A cruel reality; clinging to the old, is not enough! As we grow, the things we once clung too will eventually become to small or so distance, that they are no longer large enough to hold on too. A good relationship must create new things to hold on too, because the newer things are easier to grip.
Furthermore, relationship incur constant pulling. There will always be forces and situations that are pulling you in the opposite direction, thus as things pull you apart, you must pull together. Often, during this pulling apart, we aide the effort by pushing each other away because of frustration, dissatisfaction or distractions. A good couple will feel the tension of the pull and push, refocus, recommit, and pull things together.
To have a successful marriage, one has to appreciate what you have, and be satisfied with it. Appreciation requires us to inspect something purpose, usefulness, value, and being aware of the effect of its absence. We must be ever aware that much like the market place, there will always be something new, that promotes more uses, and claims more and better satisfaction. When one becomes dissatisfied, it is merely acknowledging that an appreciation has been lost to what has been obtained. Because we are all growing, the reality is that what we have obtained will grow in use, and to one that is resourceful and attentive, will find it more useful to oneself as they greet new days.
The direction relationships go in are the result of our choices. We must choose each day to grow together or grow apart.
Are you growing together? growing apart? Do you have a common goal? Do you value each other to make time to spend together? Do you share our thoughts? Joys? Sadness? Are you pretend to have it together? Will you keep the mask until you have grown apart?
Share with us.